Are Da Bears really going to the Super Bowl. I mean, can we really be so sure about this? There’s still two weeks until the stupid game, and they don’t even have tickets. They’re probably going to have to go to the airport, and actually fly there, and y’all know what that’s like this time of the year. Then there’s the fact that a lot of these guys live in Chicago, so that’s not a good sign. And last time I heard, Steve Bartman’s still alive, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to take news like this sitting down. Are we really willing to trust the Liberal mainstream media this far as to say the Bears are a sure thing? Let’s just say I got some of my money on ‘Tie’ (Bud Selig’s still alive for crying out loud). Plus, there’s a REALLY convincing conspiracy theory that the NFL is manipulating events to put the Saints in the Super Bowl, and the only refutation of that argument is reality as we know it. Welcome to the desert of the real.

[Insert reference to Hurricane Ditka, project final score for 'Ditka versus the Lord God Almighty', fail annual anti-blasphemy resolution]

The Bears are sooo awful, they have their own indefinite article (okay, so they share it with Da Bulls).