Wednesday night I had a hard time sleeping. It was a long day and a lot of things were weighing on my heart. (People issue type stuff…). I got up and sat down with my Bible, a notebook, and my iPod (yes… iPods are very spirtual things. Right up there with Bibles and notebooks.)
I heard Derek Webb’s I Want a Broken Heart off of I See Things Upside Down. It really connected.
There are times when you are dealing with “issues” that you need to take your eyes off of yourself and look to the needs of others. There are other times, particularly when you are tending towards judgementalism, that you need to turn your gaze back on your own heart. This was one of those times.
I Want a Broken Heart words and music by derek webb i’ve got faith in the bank and money in my heart i’ve got a calloused place where your ring used to be, my love i’ve traded naked and unashamed for a better place to hide for a righteous mask, a suit of fig leaves and lies i thought the cattle on a thousand hills was not enough to pay my bills and i fell in love with those who proved me wrong and now i want a broken heart now there’s a great pad lock on the place where i was free and i’m feeling bad from swallowing that key now i work real hard but i mostly call in sick of a broken back from the ground fighting back at me i cannot look you in the eye so i check the knots on my disguise ‘cause i fell in love with fashion in the dark and now i want a broken heart i’ve got alibis for every crime a substitute to do my time ‘cause Your heart breaks enough on both our parts so now i want a broken heart now i want a broken heart now i want a broken heart
April 3, 2006 at 1:13 pm
I hear you man. Shane & Shane break my heart a lot when I’m getting RIGHTEOUS on people, if you know what I mean. Thank the Lord for music, otherwise I would be a hard, salty old man by now. It was hard hearing Brad talk about my identity on Sunday morning, because I knew that meant realizing other people’s identity as well. God’s heart is broken for people, so I should want mine to be there too. God loves everyone equally, so I should too.
Good song, I’m there with you dude.
And yah, iPod + Holy Spirit = Super Spiritual über-Christians
April 3, 2006 at 10:55 pm
I think Derek Webb is seriously writing the best Christian music out there today. Its refreshingly honest. And yah, I often listen to this song, I Repent, and of course Wedding Dress when I need a good reminder to humble myself.
April 4, 2006 at 12:56 am
Wow do I ever have trouble with people at times. I sometimes even call myself a Pharisee.
I find that if I try to read/pray/do anything spiritual when I’m in that state of mind it taints it and leaves me with great unrest. So I make myself go talk to the person… just to get to know them better. Its kind of hard to hate someone you can’t objectify and “worse” yet you sympathize with. When I see that they love God and that they too struggle with weaknesses that you can overlook about anything.
Stay with it, bro. ;)
April 6, 2006 at 10:29 am
Have you listened to “Mockingbird” yet? It contains several songs which are very hard to listen to, the lyrics are just that uncomfortable.
April 6, 2006 at 10:38 am
I need to pick Mockingbird up. Haven’t listened to it yet.