Songs from a broken heart.
Nancy ran across an old notebook of mine today while cleaning. I thought I had thrown it away a long time ago. (Actually I thought I had burned it…).
It contained a lot of “break up” poetry/songs that I had written at a very difficult point in my life (summer after my freshman year for those of you who know my story).
A lot of bitterness, emptiness, sadness, stupidity…
It’s good, from time to time, to remember what you were saved from.
I threw the notebook away, but not before salvaging the last few pages.
On the last couple of pages were lyrics written as I was coming out of that hole that I had dug myself into. After I found Christ, again-for-the-first-time…
Here’s one of them. Please forgive the cheesiness. :) (Add some Creed-ish rock-ballad music to it and you’ll get an idea of what I was hearing. Maaan… I coulda started Kutless…)
Staring at censless pages of an open book meaningless words from which great meaning I once took sitting here in silence nothing to be heard not an ounce of comprehension of your very word without a mind for you without a heart for you without you in me without you in me running down the same roads i used to in the past all of them are dead ends none of them will last chasing after nothings this world calls good and right i am blind and stumbling i have no real sight. Become my all, my everything let me live with you I seek you first and only For I am nothing, Lord.
That was powerful, Matt. Thank you for sharing some of the darker times of your life and the goodness of God to pull you out of it.
Never get rid of stuff like this. Remember what you were, realize what you have come from. Also, some of it makes for some pretty good songs once you rewrite it.